It was a very fruitful conversation which he totally understood and as someone who so often sweeps things under the rug, I was very proud of myself for saying something.
Over the past 12 years or so, I've heard some variation of the following messages repeated often:
- "You're not the kind of girl a guy is going to want to date. You're the type of girl a guy is going to want to marry."
- "You're really smart and that's very intimidating to guys."
- "Just be yourself and the right guy will come along."
But, what do you do when who you are is a "most excellent friend"? Is being a good friend sexy?
I had a friend over to study last night and as I was getting some food I asked him if he wanted a glass of water. He said, "I'm good." To which I responded, "I know you're good, but would you like a glass of water?" He responded by telling me that his ex-girlfriend's mom used to say something pretty similar.
Fantastic. We've been friends for 10 hours and already I remind you of someone's mother. Is being a mom sexy?
The flirting thing doesn't come naturally to me. The moves I have are being friendly, smiling a lot, making people food, and taking a genuine interest in their life stories. But these are my friendship making moves just as much as my move moves. So I guess that leaves me concluding that I can't worry about being alluring. Really all I can do is focusing on loving and serving other people well. And while I've never personally heard anyone say, "what really attracted me to this person was how good of a friend she was " I've got to believe that at some point in the history of the universe those words were spoken.
Because it may not be a super sexy move, but being a good friend is really one of the only moves I got.