Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Prompt 21: Someone you judged by your first impression

I skipped Prompt 20 (favorite TV shows) because it didn't really interest me to dedicate an entire blog post to the topic. And I'd rather talk about how judgemental I am because that's just so much better.

I feel like I judge everyone by their first impression. A lot of the time I make a determination about how that person and I would relate. Am I cool enough, pretty enough, funny enough, smart enough, etc. to be friends with this person? How did this come to pass?

I think I am a fairly judgemental person in that I make snap decisions on who people are based on very little bits of information. I listened to a sermon by Rob Bell from Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He was trying to explain the difference between the kind of judgement that is connected to keeping people accountable and the kind of judgement that Jesus warns against us bringing upon others. He suggests that we need to judge the actions of others but we've crossed the line when we begin to make conclusions about people's character based on those actions. So, for example, it would be appropriate for me to tell someone that it is not right for them to steal candy from a baby but if I then made the leap that because they stole candy from a baby that they were a bad person and unworthy of being loved, then I'd be crossing the line. Rob Bell explains that when we make that leap, we are trying to do God's job for him. Ultimately, God is the only one who can judge hearts.

Judging people in this way leads to two things: 1) I become less open to new relationships with people because I am caught in a circle of judgement wherein I am judging them, and also determining ways in which I think they are judging me. 2) I fail to give myself or others credit. Moment of transparency here: there's this guy I have a baby crush on and I get along with him well it seems. However, I'll see him talking to other girls that I have determined to be prettier than I am and then come to the conclusion that he would never reciprocate my crushage feelings because I fall short in areas x, y, and z. This is where judgement becomes a problem! I thought about the past few guys I've been interested in and what piqued my interest. It was never their physical appearance. There was a charisma, or shared interests, or humor that initiated my interest and then of course I came to see them as being very handsome, but it never started with physical attraction. Why, then, do I assume that guys would do the exact opposite and base their interest solely on physical appearance?

Anyway, I know this prompt asks about a specific person I judged by their first impression, but judgement in general seemed a more provoking topic.

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