Sunday, October 24, 2010

Prompt 19: Something that makes you different

I cry when I laugh. Not like a single tear slowly and dramatically dropping down my cheek as a symphony plays in the back ground, but tears cascading down both sides of my face. My friend Becky calls them projectile tears and says that they are my super power.

This past weekend (why did I take not pictures of this?!?) my super power was in rare form as I gathered with other youth staff leaders for our annual retreat in Cle Elum. The tears started flowing on Friday night while playing Catchphrase. The following day I basically cried so hard that I think my body might have actually dehydrated itself. We played Balderdash and bag of nouns and developed more inside jokes than are really necessary for any one group of people.

God is really working in my life to soften my heart in a lot of ways and I think part of that is being kinder to myself. One of my fears is that I'm destined to live an unspectacular and insignifcant life. There's all these places I want to go and things I want to do, but feel bound to this time and place because of the amount of debt that I'm in. My little bro and I were having dinner last week and I was explaining some of this and he reminded myself of what I'm doing now that's indicative of where I want to be in the future: I volunteer with students, I work at a non-profit, I serve. So, while my gut reaction might be to say that there is nothing different about me, that I am mired down in mediocrity, I feel like God is challenging me to question that.

I really like that I cry when I laugh and that I do so easily because it reminds me the way that God has sown seeds of joy into my life. There's something almost sacred about laughter. If I don't laugh while in someone's company it's difficult for me to imagine being great friends with them. When someone asks me to describe any of my favorite people, aside from their physical attributes, I normally mention that they are funny. All that to say that I think God has gifted me in a way to experience moments of piercing joy in the midst of sorrow, feeling sick, being discouraged, having PMS, etc., and that one of the embodiments of that joy is laughter and therefore many tears.

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