Thursday, July 1, 2010

Are you pregnant?

I was sitting at the bus stop today and a stranger casually asked me: "are you pregnant?" I responded with a firm but incredulous "No." She apologized, told me that it was probably because of the shirt I was wearing and then tried to make a little small talk. I sat there and did what I usually do when I get distressed: texted Maggie. She asked me if I punched her in the throat. I told her no, but that the comment totally deflated me. I felt like jumping up and yelling, "I'm trying to lose weight, okay!?!" I also told Maggie that it really pissed me off because I feel like I'm a beautiful until someone does or says something that tells me otherwise.

I know I could lose weight. According to Weight Watchers, I should lose anywhere between 35-50lbs. And I know maybe I should. But I don't really care enough to. Not that much at least. I don't feel like my health is at risk. I go running 3 days a week at least, varying between 3-6 miles. I supplement that with dance and fitness classes or Tae Bo. I make sure to eat at least 5 servings of fruit and vegetables a day. And sometimes I make really bad food choices. Like, really bad. But I'm actually okay with being a size 12 for the rest of my life and firmly landing in the 150's. I'm okay if I never feel comfortable wearing a bikini and just wear shorts and a bathing suit top. I'm okay with that. But other people don't seem to be.

I know I'm beautiful. And as Maggie said, not just in a "God loves me" kind of way, but in a ridiculously good looking way. I really just wish people would stop asking me if I was pregnant.

1 comment:

katja said...

at this point i am going to say it goes far beyond your looks. i mean, you are in no way, shape or form heavy and you really don't ever look pregnant. you just must have some kind of maternal glow that most people have when they are pregnant. i think it's more about how you carry yourself or the way you present yourself or something than how you look.

that, or every seattleite on this planet is not only a dumb mother fucker, but also blind