I was sitting at the bus stop today and a stranger casually asked me: "are you pregnant?" I responded with a firm but incredulous "No." She apologized, told me that it was probably because of the shirt I was wearing and then tried to make a little small talk. I sat there and did what I usually do when I get distressed: texted Maggie. She asked me if I punched her in the throat. I told her no, but that the comment totally deflated me. I felt like jumping up and yelling, "I'm trying to lose weight, okay!?!" I also told Maggie that it really pissed me off because I feel like I'm a beautiful until someone does or says something that tells me otherwise.
I know I could lose weight. According to Weight Watchers, I should lose anywhere between 35-50lbs. And I know maybe I should. But I don't really care enough to. Not that much at least. I don't feel like my health is at risk. I go running 3 days a week at least, varying between 3-6 miles. I supplement that with dance and fitness classes or Tae Bo. I make sure to eat at least 5 servings of fruit and vegetables a day. And sometimes I make really bad food choices. Like, really bad. But I'm actually okay with being a size 12 for the rest of my life and firmly landing in the 150's. I'm okay if I never feel comfortable wearing a bikini and just wear shorts and a bathing suit top. I'm okay with that. But other people don't seem to be.
I know I'm beautiful. And as Maggie said, not just in a "God loves me" kind of way, but in a ridiculously good looking way. I really just wish people would stop asking me if I was pregnant.