Saturday, February 27, 2010

Fainting

This is what it feels like when you are on vicodin and haven't eaten enough over the course of the day:

Your face goes really hot, and it sounds like your ears need to pop. You can tell people are speaking to you, but you can't make out anything they are saying. You might begin to feel a little queasy. Then your head starts to feel really heavy and all you want to do is lie down. Finally, you'll black out for about 10 seconds and the next thing you know your boss will be propping you up against a desk at the front desk and keep telling you to sit down. The fun part is that you'll sit at the front desk and drink gatorade, water, and yogurt while guests walk by slightly confused, just assuming you're hanging out and sitting on the ground. You'll feel really cared for when your friend Frank walks to a restaurant and buys you mashed potatoes. But you'll feel kind of awkward because you'll be sweating bullets and not entirely certain of how it happened or why it did.

And if you're me, you'll stay at work and try to work the rest of your shift until it happens again four hours later and you throw in the towel to go home.

p.s. Fainting is not cute. No one looks good doing it. It is not sexy or romantic. Do not believe movies such as "The Wedding Planner" that show it being done in a very fashionable manner. They are lying.

**Based on a true story.

3 comments:

Chrissie said...

Oh no!!! Are you feeling better now? So sorry. One time when I was about 12 I fainted at the hairdressers because I was too tall for my short hairdresser and I had to stand up so she could cut my hair. It was early in the morning and I had not eaten breakfast. Bad combination. We should start a club?

Stephanie Breuner said...

did you have dental work done?

I had kidney stones the last couple of weeks and managed to deal with them at home with lots of water and Tylenol, but the alternative was IV's and vicodin at the hospital, so I guess you can bet which way I preferred after hearing your story!

Suzanne Townsend said...

Chrissie: I don't know if I want to be in a club based around fainting. Sounds REALLY dangerous.

Stephanie: I had a horrible toothache that was persistent. I was taking 800mg of ibuprofen and it did nothing, but until they could get me an appointment with an oral surgeon they gave me vicodin and antibiotics. I'm feeling a lot better now!