I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
This part of the song is referring to Jacob wrestling the angel of the Lord. When Jacob is done wrestling the angel touches his hip and leaves Jacob with a limp. Maybe most importantly, God gives Jacob a new name. He goes from being named Jacob meaning "supplanter", to Israel meaning "God persists or contends." His wrestling with God transforms him from one who deceives and manipulates for his own purposes to one who strives with God and helps birth God's nation. He wrestled with the angel of the Lord, and then received a blessing. BUT!!! Jacob did not wrestle the angel in order to receive a blessing.
So often I feel like I am striving with God under the expectation (demand?) that out of that striving I receive a blessing. What if the striving is the point and not the blessing that comes from it? What if the striving ceases and no blessing comes? What if the striving is the blessing?
I feel like I am in a period of time where I am wrestling with God, and my thought has been "once this is over, I'll be blessed." My radical question is this: is the fact that I am striving, and that I have breath to be wrestling with God, a sign that I have already been blessed?