Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Twenty-Four

Last night me, Maggie, Jaelithe went to go see Switchfoot at the Showbox theatre. Whenever I go see Switchfoot I get stuck on their music for a while. I went running to Switchfoot today, and timed almost perfectly to the end of my run was the song "Twenty-Four". I almost started crying as I listened to the entire song while walking in the rain and cooling down. It was like I was hearing parts of the song for the first time ever, and it almost became a prayer:

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me

This part of the song is referring to Jacob wrestling the angel of the Lord. When Jacob is done wrestling the angel touches his hip and leaves Jacob with a limp. Maybe most importantly, God gives Jacob a new name. He goes from being named Jacob meaning "supplanter", to Israel meaning "God persists or contends." His wrestling with God transforms him from one who deceives and manipulates for his own purposes to one who strives with God and helps birth God's nation. He wrestled with the angel of the Lord, and then received a blessing. BUT!!! Jacob did not wrestle the angel in order to receive a blessing.

So often I feel like I am striving with God under the expectation (demand?) that out of that striving I receive a blessing. What if the striving is the point and not the blessing that comes from it? What if the striving ceases and no blessing comes? What if the striving is the blessing?

I feel like I am in a period of time where I am wrestling with God, and my thought has been "once this is over, I'll be blessed." My radical question is this: is the fact that I am striving, and that I have breath to be wrestling with God, a sign that I have already been blessed?

2 comments:

Stephanie Breuner said...

What if the striving is the blessing?

I am pondering this thought.

(I heart Switchfoot too)

elizdong said...

i connect with this blog post. thinking of you- let me know how things go over the next week!