My interviewer was 15 minutes late, so I went to the restroom to freshen up. I looked in the mirror and saw me, wearing a pair of freshly dry cleaned grey slacks, a long sleeved black shirt, black blazer, makeup, with my hair neatly kept and I was struck by my reflection. I felt like I looked like a kid playing dress up. The thought came across my mind like a flash and it scared me a little bit.
I shook it off long enough to engage in the two hour interview. At the end of today's interview with the Director of Sales and then the General Manager, I knew I'd be sending my interviewers an email withdrawing from consideration for the position. The primary reason is that the position would require I purchase a car, which I cannot do with a clear conscience because of the financial burden. As I was riding the bus home (1 1/2 hours long ride) I asked myself, "what am I doing?" Looking at my reflection at the hotel I knew: this isn't me.
I can't work as an account manager at a hotel. It's not what I'm wired to do. I feel like I am back at square one. Scratch that, I'm at square zero. I asked God to make it clear to me what I should do. I just didn't think his response would knock me down on my butt.
Dear God, it's a good thing I trust you, otherwise I'd be pissed off right now. Amen.