Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Dress up

I had a job interview today for an account manager position at a hotel. I have realized that the non profit jobs I am seeking are not calling me back because I don't have non profit experience. I have passion, and desire, but no experience. My plan was (is?) to get a regular 9-5pm job that would free up my evenings and weekends to get the experiences I need by volunteering with New Horizons or Street Youth Ministries.

My interviewer was 15 minutes late, so I went to the restroom to freshen up. I looked in the mirror and saw me, wearing a pair of freshly dry cleaned grey slacks, a long sleeved black shirt, black blazer, makeup, with my hair neatly kept and I was struck by my reflection. I felt like I looked like a kid playing dress up. The thought came across my mind like a flash and it scared me a little bit.

I shook it off long enough to engage in the two hour interview. At the end of today's interview with the Director of Sales and then the General Manager, I knew I'd be sending my interviewers an email withdrawing from consideration for the position. The primary reason is that the position would require I purchase a car, which I cannot do with a clear conscience because of the financial burden. As I was riding the bus home (1 1/2 hours long ride) I asked myself, "what am I doing?" Looking at my reflection at the hotel I knew: this isn't me.

I can't work as an account manager at a hotel. It's not what I'm wired to do. I feel like I am back at square one. Scratch that, I'm at square zero. I asked God to make it clear to me what I should do. I just didn't think his response would knock me down on my butt.

Dear God, it's a good thing I trust you, otherwise I'd be pissed off right now. Amen.


Stephanie Breuner said...

It's good to know who you are. God has something up His sleeve for you. Trust.

elizdong said...

on my white board, i've had a prayer request for you & your perfect job (i think it might have been the first prayer request i wrote on the board, in fact). it seems like God is answering in a more round-about way than hoped for, but until then- still praying for you.

on another note- i'm coming home on Tuesday night and i want to see you soon! when are you free? wed? thurs? fri? i'll call you later- just wanted to let you know so i can wiggle into your schedule. can't wait to see your new place!

Ric Wild said...

good for you...

suggestion: you should look into the nonprofit management program at north park (or any other school). you can do it online. i hear really good things about it and it would be great to put on your resume in preparation for what you really want to pursue.

Suzanne Townsend said...

Stephanie: Thanks for your kind words, both here, and for the past 9 years of my life!

Liz: I may be a little more demanding of your time this visit and ask for TWO hang out sessions. I feel like I'm in need of a lot of Liz time.

Ric: Thanks for the suggestion!