Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Dress up

I had a job interview today for an account manager position at a hotel. I have realized that the non profit jobs I am seeking are not calling me back because I don't have non profit experience. I have passion, and desire, but no experience. My plan was (is?) to get a regular 9-5pm job that would free up my evenings and weekends to get the experiences I need by volunteering with New Horizons or Street Youth Ministries.

My interviewer was 15 minutes late, so I went to the restroom to freshen up. I looked in the mirror and saw me, wearing a pair of freshly dry cleaned grey slacks, a long sleeved black shirt, black blazer, makeup, with my hair neatly kept and I was struck by my reflection. I felt like I looked like a kid playing dress up. The thought came across my mind like a flash and it scared me a little bit.

I shook it off long enough to engage in the two hour interview. At the end of today's interview with the Director of Sales and then the General Manager, I knew I'd be sending my interviewers an email withdrawing from consideration for the position. The primary reason is that the position would require I purchase a car, which I cannot do with a clear conscience because of the financial burden. As I was riding the bus home (1 1/2 hours long ride) I asked myself, "what am I doing?" Looking at my reflection at the hotel I knew: this isn't me.

I can't work as an account manager at a hotel. It's not what I'm wired to do. I feel like I am back at square one. Scratch that, I'm at square zero. I asked God to make it clear to me what I should do. I just didn't think his response would knock me down on my butt.

Dear God, it's a good thing I trust you, otherwise I'd be pissed off right now. Amen.

4 comments:

Stephanie Breuner said...

It's good to know who you are. God has something up His sleeve for you. Trust.

elizdong said...

on my white board, i've had a prayer request for you & your perfect job (i think it might have been the first prayer request i wrote on the board, in fact). it seems like God is answering in a more round-about way than hoped for, but until then- still praying for you.

on another note- i'm coming home on Tuesday night and i want to see you soon! when are you free? wed? thurs? fri? i'll call you later- just wanted to let you know so i can wiggle into your schedule. can't wait to see your new place!

Ric Wild said...

good for you...

suggestion: you should look into the nonprofit management program at north park (or any other school). you can do it online. i hear really good things about it and it would be great to put on your resume in preparation for what you really want to pursue.

Suzanne Townsend said...

Stephanie: Thanks for your kind words, both here, and for the past 9 years of my life!

Liz: I may be a little more demanding of your time this visit and ask for TWO hang out sessions. I feel like I'm in need of a lot of Liz time.

Ric: Thanks for the suggestion!