Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The search for the perfect house

When Karen and I moved in together last year, there was a conversation we had where I explained that I was applying for a job in Germany and I could be leaving as early as June, six months early from the end of our lease. And now, it's November, I am not in Germany and it's time to find a new place.

I got pretty anxious yesterday when Karen and I were talking about it. In part, that is because we have a third roommate we're adding into the mix which means we now have the opinions and needs of an entire new person to consider.

But from more than just a logistical perspective, signing a lease just feels so definite. It roots me in this time and this place for at least a year. And while I have no plans to leave, I don't feel the need to stay. I'm trying to look for things that anchor me a little more to my life here in Seattle. I applied for a job working with youth in Seattle that I think would be utterly amazing. I'm trying to reconnect with my church, which is hard, after going on involvement overload during my two year internship.

It can sometimes feel like a half life here in Seattle. I have my friends, and intentionally seek to expand that circle to include people at church and work. It just feels different, though. Last week, Karen's mom asked me about my job search and invited me over to her house for Thanksgiving and I realized how strange it was for me to have an adult in Seattle express motherly care to me.

I wonder if my Vancouver life and my Seattle life will ever feel like one life. And if I move somewhere else, how will I remember my Seattle life? Who would have thunk that searching for the perfect house would lead to such questions?

1 comment:

Stephanie Breuner said...

I remember when I was going to school in Nashville, living in dorms and apartments and how weird it was to be invited over to a "real" home with a mom that cooked dinners and such. It felt really good and made me miss home too. I never did really feel like Nashville was "home" it was always a temporary place until I could be home.