Saturday, October 10, 2009

I think about it over and over again

I have found that there are certain lessons that you can try to teach yourself, and that others can try to teach you, all without success. It takes something to finally *click* for that lesson to be learned. I feel like it's finally all *clicking* in terms of what I am wanting out of the next couple years of my life in terms of a career. I'll try to be concise.

I was lucky in college, especially, to get good feedback from my professors and peers about what they thought I was capable of. However, these high expectations bring with it an undue amount of pressure. For the past two years I have just felt entirely unspectacular. It's like I'm waiting for my life to begin. For something to jumpstart things, but I wouldn't be able to recognize the "it" even if it bit me in the face. Which is unfortunate, because it would probably hurt.

My internship ended at the end of August, and I turned down an opportunity to work at the church in a part time capacity. I was afraid I would be settling for what's easy instead of going out of my comfort zone and trying something completely new. Now, I'm trying to trust and have faith that the something I am waiting for will reveal itself to me. In the meantime, though, I am trying to heed the advice of a dear friend and of myself (in my better moments) and spend a lot less time worrying about the future and a lot more time being the person that God desires for me to be. This doesn't mean I've decided to stay at the hotel forever, but that I have found contentment in the time of transition. It's a good place to be. It's a good place...

1 comment:

Ric Wild said...

transitions can be really hard. way to just be.