Monday, July 6, 2009

The internet: more than I bargained for

I've been sitting in my room for the past hour and a half wasting time on the internet. Sometimes I'm embarassed to admit that I do that, but I'm hoping I'm not alone. For the past 15-20 minutes I have been reading people's blogs. I love the "next blog" feature at the top of the page because I never know what I'm going to stumble on. More often than not the blogs are not written in English, and if they are they're usually about paper doll collecting or random family pictures. Still, it's an incredible reminder to me of how many people actually exist in this world. And while I'm reading about strangers' adventures in Germany, or card making, or which youtube videos Danish people find to be the funniest, I start to think that these random snapshots are the reality most people experience.

But then I stumble on a blog like this: http://iraqideadbodys12.blogspot.com/. (Viewer discretion advised).

You can see it in the name of the blog. It's photos of dead Iraqis. People I have never heard the names of. People that maybe we in America don't know exist. And my head starts spinning, and I feel like I want to cry even though no tears come. Then I'm angry with myself for not crying. Why can I cry when my friend and I get into a fight, but not when I am slapped in the face by the brokenness of this world?

And it's time like these I lift up a quick prayer: Lord Jesus, come back soon, because we are destroying ourselves.

I know I'm supposed to be someone who is sowing hope and loving well. Someone who tries to restore hope and whisper peace in the name of Christ to others. Somedays it just feels much harder than other days.

I am reminded of Pride and Prejudice when Mr. Bennett is speaking to Lizzy and blaming himself for his daughter Lydia's foolish actions. Elizabeth tries to console him and he responds by saying, "I am heartily ashamed of myself, Lizzy. But don't despair; it'll pass, and no doubt more quickly than it should."

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