Saturday, June 27, 2009

Things that make me feel like me

I love lists. I always have. And I started thinking about the half marathon I ran today (taking 21 minutes off of my previous half marathon time. Heck yes!) and visiting with Scott and Becky. Which led to my needing to make a list. These are all things that help me feel more like me.

1. Making people laugh.
2. Talking with friends for 3 hours straight.
3. Setting a goal, and then exceeding my own expectations.
4. Giving and receiving really good hugs.
5. Wearing the color green.
6. Drinking the perfect cup of tea.
7. Running
8. Wordless conversations
9. Sitting in the sun
10. Finishing a good book.

Hmmm...missing from this list is something that was really helping me make sense of me: reading my Bible and journaling. I've been out of this discipline for the past month or so. And I miss it. Yet, somehow I forgot I missed it.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Last Chance Harvey

Yesterday, as I was running random errands, I happened to stop at Hollywood video. Lo and behold, their movies were buy two get two free. I was kind of raised to be a movie nut, and so despite my commitments to live simply, cheap movies are hard to resist. I purchased Penelope, Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, The Visitor, and Last Chance Harvey. Last night my roommate and I broke in my movies by watching Last Chance Harvey.

It was a sweet, simple, and uncomplicated story about two people who fall in love. Uncomplicated, however, doesn't mean superficial or easy. It was simple in that both of the main characters were not tempted to create needless problems in their relationship. There was oppeness and true vulnerability. This vulnerability and oppeness led to difficulties, as opening one's self up to anyone often leads to. But, they weren't the kind of difficulties that resulted from someone sabotaging a relationship, or deceiving someone intentionally, or hiding their true self. It was refreshing to watch a movie that swam against the message that the more foibles and miscommunications in the beginning of a relationship, the more likely it's meant to be.

It's a tale as old as time. Two people meet. Two people fall in love. But unlike many movies, when I imagined the life of the characters post "The End" I didn't see them separating for some inevitably silly reason. I could see these two characters actually making it, and that was, for lack of a better word, nice.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Decisions

Spent the whole afternoon in San Francisco. 

Belly is full with chicken pesto fettucini. 

Should I stay up an hour and finish prepping the last chapter of Habakkuk so that tomorrow I can put together an outline?

Or do I sleep now?

Sleep. Or study.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Just breathe...

On June 28th I will be preaching at my church on the Book of Habakkuk. That's right...in big church. I was a little disappointed to find out I'd be preaching at the 8:30am service since that is a service I have never attended, it's super early, and I am scared of that group for a number of reasons (namely, some of them don't feel women should be preaching). However, I'm working on getting over it and feeling blessed by the opportunity. I'm almost there, but I'm still scared. Here's why...

1. I am afraid of misrepresenting the text. This fear will pass as I will be writing my outline alongside three pastors who will also be preaching that Sunday.
2. I'm afraid my pastor will conclude I'm not a gifted teacher. This would be a little devastating since it brings me great joy to teach and I also highly value my pastor's opinion.
3. I'm flat out scared I'm going to do a bad job. Get nervous. Forget my notes. Throw up. Insert devastating public speaking outcome here.

I have a month to prepare. I'm going to study chapter one tomorrow and take it from there. Please God, help me to remember that knowledge puffs up but love builds up. Please help me to turn aside from the wisdom of the world and remember that your wisdom looks like foolishness to the world. Help me God to prepare well and rejoice in being made to look a fool.

Amen.