Monday, September 29, 2008

Moments Like These

Work, not going the way I'd like it to go, is starting to weigh on me. I see my friends in full time ministry, or at least full time doing what they love, and I can't help but ask "why can't that be me?" I know that the comparisons need to stop. I know that all of the people I am comparing myself to are also struggling, but my heart is overeager. When I got the promotion at work I said (simultaneously) "OH, YEAH!" (genuinely) and "OH, YEAH!" (sarcastically). But then, I sit here, in the quietness of my apartment simply listening to the keys on my computer and I am reminded of moments. Like, standing with Maggie before a crowd of 75 people introducing a short music video that makes us laugh even though we've watched it half a dozen times. Or, getting dressed up and getting to wear ruby red slippers on a day other than Halloween. Or, seeing the pride in Brenna's and Jennie's faces at how their film turned out and getting to share it with people they love. Or, walking with Chrissie while eating World Wrapps. Or, bringing Chrissie (a dear friend) to meet Brenna for the first time (another dear friend) and have them be perfectly in synch. Or, anticipating having five high school students over to my house tomorrow for pasta and fellowship for a few short moments. Or, laughing with a friend who remembers our jokes, better than I do. Or...or...or...a million times over. I forget about the or...or...or...and in my forgetfulness I feel withdrawn from community, but the or...or...or...is so powerful. The or...or...or... is filled with beauty and I want to begin to live my life FOR the 'ors' and in doing so have an encounter with Christ.

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