Monday, March 3, 2008

Yesterday was a Funky Kind of Day

It was one of those days when I was just in a funk. My head and my heart seemed cloudy and I could not focus for the life of me on people, conversations, or the sermon at church. I'm trying to systematically work through everything that is creating the fog. I'm certain there's more but here's what I have so far:

1) I'm working on getting a new roommate temporarily. Both of the candidates live in far off states and I just realized that having them live with me temporarily is a major violation of my lease agreement.
2) Trying to apply for jobs that could take me far away from here all the way to who knows where.
3) Making sense of my calling. I'm having doubts that youth ministry is what I'm most equipped to do and I don't know if that's self doubt or if that's legitimate questioning.
4) I had great time with the Lord two days in a row and now it's been empty for a week or so and I'm feeling dry.
5) There are students I need to follow up with, people I want to hang out with, and people I should hang out with, and none of that is happening.
6) Work (the hotel) is frustrating because my schedule is getting ridiculously unpredictable. There are strategic reasons why this is happening and it's happening to everyone, but its making it hard for me to spend time with other people.
7) Always worried about my weight and eating right. Every day I'm binging or eating things that aren't healthy and yet it's a cycle I allow myself to get into. What's it going to take for me to break this cycle and get it together?

These 7 things provide the sum total for why my head feels a little funky. I'm looking for it all to clear, but I know it's a matter of time for that to happen. So, when people are asking me how I'm doing today, I'll be saying fine and that's really how I'm doing.

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